Jessica Simpson & Eric Johnson Wedding Vows a la Vow Muse

Dear World: We admit it. We love Jessica Simpson (and by association, we're willing to accept whomever she decides to love). I think she had us after the first episode of Newlyweds, where despite every reason not to like her, it was impossible to consider that option. Heck, one of the muses even wrote a poem of sadness that was included in her thesis about the breakup of Nick and Jess. Well, thankfully, there has come a much happier reason to encompass feelings of J. Simpson in written form: her upcoming wedding to Eric Johnson. So the Muses decided to do what we do best: write them some wedding vows that capture who they are in words! 

Eric & Jess in that post-engagement glow. 

Jessica to Eric: 

Eric, I know quoting another musicians song is probably as unorthodox as well...just about everything about me. But seriously, there I was, thinking "I could really use a wish right now" when you appeared. And a wish you were. In fact, you're a dream come true. There so aren't enough dandelions to blow, tunnels to hold my breath through, or shooting stars that would explain how you found me. But holy macaroni, all I can say is Hallelujah and thank God, Jesus, and every holy ghost around. You've made a true woman of me. I cannot wait to share my life with you, today, tomorrow, and forever. 

Eric to Jessica:

Jess: I know we talk a lot about luck–about how lucky we are to have met, how lucky we are to be in love, how lucky we are to just simply be in a constant state of bliss. But Jess dear, I know so little of what we're about has to do with luck, and has so much has to do with what was meant to me. You were meant for me, Jess, and I every day of our lives I'll show you I was meant for you.

Sources here and here. 

Lily Allen and Sam Cooper's Wedding Vows a la Vow Muse!

What up, Lily Allen? Apparently, Miss Allen is ready to become a Mrs., and will be tying the knot with Mr. Sam Cooper in the not to distant future (and hopefully making them both smile for a lifetime). The Muses took to their keyboards in a collaborative effort to pen Lily and Sam's vows, which is definitely making this set some of our favorites to date! Celebrity wedding vows for Lily Allen and Sam Cooper, right after this picture of the newly engaged kittens:

Builder Sam and Singer Lily—Imagine the words they will choose!

Lily to Sam:

Hey Sammy boy
Whatcha thinking over there?
Can’t believe I’ve got this ring
Bought this dress and did my hair

I see you smiling
Next to your tuxedo-ed bros
Can you believe this is happening?
I’m tingling from head to toes

You love my songs
My awesome shoes, my face, my dirt
I love that you’re a real person
Swinging a hammer, taking off your shirt

I need a man in the real world
Who doesn’t mind my crazy nan
A guy without all the answers
Who will laugh and joke with my band

I never thought this day would come
But it’s here now and it kicks ass
I want to spend my life with you
Holding hands, lying in the grass

I love you, Sam
I vow to never stray
We’re gonna be the raddest couple
Every year, every week, every day


Sam to Lily:

My Lilybee: before I knew you, I was but foundation waiting to be built upon, to reach my full potential. I knew I had the power to support, to give, to love, but I hadn't found the right materials with which to create. And then, there was you. No, scratch that. There is you. You are more sturdy than steel, more beautiful than the finest redwood. You're definitely smarter than stucco, and you're more complex than electricity. You crack me up every damn day; you've built me up in a way I never knew possible. You are a collection of the perfect materials for me, and I look forward to being your rock-solid foundation for the rest of our lives.

--

Lily Allen info from here.

No Sam Cooper info available.

Photo used under Creative Commons license.

Wedding Vows for Hugh Hefner and Crystal Harris With the Touch of a Vow Muse!

Come on, what is not to love about Hugh Hefner? Okay, we retract that statement, as someone probably could come up with quite a bit not to love about him... for example, have you seen how slight the guy is? He's definitely nowhere near teddy bear status. But despite his slightness, the Muses heard about his recent engagement, and we couldn't resist trying to imagine what the eternal playboy and his new sweetie would be proclaiming to each other. Without further ado, wedding vows for Hugh Hefner and Crystal Harris:

Hugh Hef and Crystal Harris getting their lovebug action on!

Hugh to Crystal:

Sparkling Crystal: it's no secret that little in my life is a secret. You know my past like the back of your hand, and not only do you love me in spite of it, you love me for it. I never have to apologize to you for being myself, and you know you never have to apologize to me for everything you are and everything you will become. You've seen me at my worst, and at an ever changing best. With this ceremony, I vow to be the best damn man, husband, and lover you'll ever know.
 
Crystal to Hugh:

Hugh: Your support for me has been unconditional since the day we met, and I strive to offer you the same security of love that you show me daily. You have taught me what it means to love without boundaries, to truly understand another person, and to live a life without any sense of fear or regret. When I am with you, I am me. I vow to sing to you when you're least expecting it, make you laugh every single day, and show you a love worthy of the love you show me.

--
All sources thanks to Hugh Wiki and Crystal Wiki

Part 2: Swisher Vows Revision

Last week, the Muses brought you a version of potential wedding vows for Nick Swisher and JoAnna Garcia. After some consideration, we thought we'd rewrite Mr. Swisher's vows to snuggly fit his personality, and demonstrate what Vow Muse is all about. Writing is a fluid process that is open to give and take, and when we write for you, we want our writing to sound like you. Thus we bring you Nick Swisher's vows, take two:

Felt like his first set was too banal? Well, a little more humor awaits!

Revised! From Nick to JoAnna:

JoAnna, I was certain I wanted a future with you from before we even made it to first base. I couldn't begin to dream of heading to the outfield without knowing you're in the stands or curled up in front of your radio listening to the game. Whether I'm running towards a fly ball or circling the field praying it's not a pop fly, I feel an invisible cord between our hearts, pulling at me until we are together again. I'll spare my family the details of rounding first, second and third base with you, but let's just say no matter where we are, I feel like we're at home plate. I am never less than you, nor more than you; you're never less than me, and you are never more than me. I couldn't dream up a better partner in life, and yes, in the dugout, too.